8 Fixes for Small Groups

Most recent

Jun 22

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Small groups can be one of God's greatest gifts to us—and one of the hardest places to keep showing up. We've all felt the frustration: awkward conversations, shallow discussions, unresolved conflict, or the temptation to find a "better" group somewhere else. But what if the answer isn't finding the perfect group? What if it's learning to love imperfect people well and becoming the kind of group member we wish everyone else would be?

We're sharing eight practical ways we've learned to make small groups healthier, deeper, and more life-giving. From abandoning unrealistic expectations to asking better questions, initiating vulnerability, embracing conflict, and remembering why Christian community matters in the first place, these are the habits that have helped us experience the beauty God intends for His church.

Eight Fixes for Small Groups

Abandon IdealismLet go of unrealistic expectations about Christian community. Small groups are made up of sinners, so they will be messy, imperfect, and sometimes frustrating.
InitiateDon't wait for the leader or someone else to make the group better. Be the kind of group member you wish everyone else would be—go first in vulnerability, depth, prayer, and encouragement.
Give It TimeResist the urge to leave too quickly. Deep relationships and authentic community take months—and often years—to develop.
Have a PlanDon't let the group drift aimlessly. Create structure that prioritizes what matters most: prayer, heart-level conversations, Scripture, encouragement, and accountability.
Stop Asking Lame QuestionsMove beyond "How was your week?" Ask questions that invite people to share what's happening in their hearts, their walk with Jesus, their struggles, and where they need prayer.
Welcome ConflictConflict isn't the enemy of community—it's often the pathway to deeper unity. Address offenses directly instead of avoiding them or leaving the group.
Be Willing to PivotGroups are dynamic. Be flexible as seasons of life change, people come and go, and the needs of the group evolve.
Remember Your WhyKeep the purpose of Christian community in front of you: encouraging one another to remain faithful to Jesus, helping each other fight sin, and growing together in spiritual maturity.

Better Questions to Ask in Your Small Group

—What does obedience to Jesus as Lord look like in this season? How can we cheer you on in that and support you?

—What is the “race set before you” that Jesus is asking you to run?

—What parts of your heart need to be addressed in this season? Any habitual sins? Any hurt? Any confusion? Any weariness? Unbelief? Anything you need to process?

—What mental scripts replay in your mind or are deeply rooted? How are they driving your behavior?

—What lies are you believing?

—What’s on fire in your life right now, demanding your attention?

—What does your time with the Lord look like right now? What would you like it to look like? Does it need to change? Any new spiritual disciplines you’d like to incorporate in this new season?

—Are you aware of any spiritual warfare in your life? If so, what accusations (about you or about the Lord) is the enemy hurling at you?"