Miscarriage and the Faith Crisis

Most recent

Oct 12

Read Kelly's story and more in this helpful resource: Trying: Reflections on Faith through Infertility, Miscarriage, and Loss

What happens to our faith when God says no to something we desperately prayed for? We explore the painful reality of miscarriage, the physical and emotional grief it brings, and the unexpected ways pregnancy loss can affect our marriages, our relationships, and our relationship with God. Drawing from our own experience of three miscarriages early in our marriage, we talk honestly about the loneliness, anger, shame, questions, and theological tension that can follow loss. We also unpack what it means to “wrestle well” with God through suffering—bringing humility, honesty, curiosity, and patience into our prayers rather than numbing our pain or quietly distancing ourselves from God.

What We Learned

Miscarriage can create a profound physical and emotional grief, particularly for women who experience the loss in their own bodies.
Pregnancy loss can create unexpected distance between husbands and wives because men and women may experience and process the grief differently.
Miscarriage can lead to a deep faith wrestle, raising difficult questions about God’s goodness, sovereignty, fatherhood, and the promises of Scripture.
Other people's stories can help us put language to our own grief, especially when we don't know how to communicate what we're experiencing.
We can bring honesty to God in our suffering rather than pretending to trust when we are actually angry, confused, or hurt.
Wrestling well with God involves both honesty and humility: we can acknowledge what we don't understand while remaining curious about what we cannot yet see.
Patience matters in spiritual wrestling. We may need to keep coming back to God, waiting for His answer rather than walking away after one prayer.
Psalm 25:3 and the Psalms more broadly can give language and encouragement to those who are learning how to wait on God in the middle of suffering.